It’s Done…

         I did it, I quit my job. It wasn’t an easy decision. This was a tough call to make but many would say it's one that was long over do. These “many” were on to something. They were previous employees who already dealt with the toxic environment. I held on though,honestly I figured I was better than that, on a better track, putting in more work than those around me. I thought I'd be rewarded for these things until I wasn't. After that perhaps I stayed due to my stubborn nature. Or maybe it was the quality in me that finds hope in even the most hopeless situations. 

“But Ruben, Thousands of people quit their jobs every day, you’re not a special snowflake” says the dedicated follower of my blog. It’s true, people quit every day but everyone loves a quitting story and this one, like me, is complicated. 

                                                                How It All Started 

          It all started with a meeting. I was met with the then Director of Facilities and the newly appointed and not nearly qualified Assistant Director. I was told I would be assuming the responsibilities for the building I had the Fire Safety Director license for. This license was a big deal, like…super big deal and everyone around me was failing the test for it. I stepped up and passed it in the first try so... preparation meet opportunity. I also had recently acquired my Associates Degree in Facility Management top of the class. A whopping 3.76 GPA! I was smart, ready and willing to go.

After a few weeks of assuming the role head on, I noticed something. I hadn't gotten my raise yet. I asked what was the status with my raise because mama bear needed her steaks. I was ignored.I waited another two weeks, I was ignored again. Now if anybody knows me they know how much I hate being ignored especially when these same people have no problem immediately calling me when something goes wrong for them. I asked for a meeting and I was strung along how HR was being contacted about the change. After 3 Months I decided to go to Human Resources. This was not an easy decision, everyone around me was telling me I would deal with some form of retaliation and I said, “Why should I be scared about doing what’s right” then raised my fist in the air and walked away, freeze frame, cue Breakfast Club music.

Fast-Forward some time and Human Resources did absolutely nothing to assist with the matter. What they did was akin to a mother calmly asking a toddler to give the other toddler his toy back. They ignored the proof, the legal ramifications and what would happen next. The Executive Director was known to be something of a hot head and was overheard by a few that I was now his target. After he threw his Director under the bus for this issue he eventually hired one that fit his sinister needs. A thug in a suit using a thesaurus, that’s how I referred to him. This guy was trying to impress his boss (the hot head)  with nonsensical “pro-active” policy using spreadsheets put together by a weekend you tube tutorial on Excel. I saw right through the façade. It also helped that the previous Directors told me specifically what to look out for.

Going to miss taking the kid to work

Now I already dropped the idea of any type of promotion with this school. Nobody was getting anywhere fast in this department and for now it was just a paycheck, not a career.  When the new Director went around the properties looking to see who did what, I don’t think I could have been any clearer that I was following strictly what my job title asked for. Anything else would be a team effort. He made some stupid comment about how he allows room for people to prove themselves to which I responded he's the new guy, he needs to get to know the department he's running and it's needs. I don't care what impression he got of me, I wasn't going to play this game anymore. I wanted to be left alone to do the job I was hired to do, no more no less.  It didn’t take long for him to completely ignore this and go around the building with a fine tooth comb blaming its faults on me and only me.

   I warned him I wasn't going this route. I warned him that if he continued to hold me liable for responsibilities that weren't under my title I would react. I never sugar coat anything and pointed out exactly what he was doing wrong. I knew his actions weren't his own though, he would keep saying the same line , "we all have people we answer to"...coward.  So, to make a long story short, Multiple attempts were made to find grounds for a termination without the option for unemployment. Multiple attempts were made to poke the bear as they say and incite some kind of response out of me. Multiple attempts were made to create an environment where I would just quit. I had never allowed myself to be bullied but the pressure to keep on my toes and constantly cover myself was extremely stressful. This environment aggravated a medical issue I had no idea I was dealing with.  I was diagnosed with Atypical Depression. Something I had been dealing with for a while but this particular situation made things worse. I suddenly found myself on new medicine as my health faded fast.  One thing was for sure, something had to give and fast..

Zoloft was prescribed as well a high blood pressure medication

                                                           THE INTERVIEW

After using up my vacation time for the year I decided it was the right time to send out my resume. A snazzy new layout that got immediate responses. I got a call for an interview with a company I REALLY wanted to work for. I put in my personal day annnnnd it got denied. No reason, just flat out denied. Another one of their tactics, there was no reason to deny this. I was working in an area with more than enough coverage. This triggered me. My anxiety and stress levels of being in this toxic work environment were getting out of control.  I took it personal because it was absolutely personal. Here were these people, strangers, nobodies, trying to hold me back from advancing in life and providing for my family. How dare they. This was not about the work this was about how much they can drive me crazy for me to quit. What angered me most was that I didn't do anything to deserve this. I didn't WRONG anybody, I simply wanted to move forward to provide for my family. 

I had the examples of other employees and directors who quit. Some quit because of health issues, some quit because they flat out hated the executive director. One Director quit after working with the company for over 35 years. Dude didn't even get a dinner. But this wasn't their story, this was my story and my hyper sensitivity to injustice along my anger issues and I was on borrowed time. I needed to make a change and fast but I needed to make the right one. I wasn't going to leave this place to start over from the bottom. I wasn't going to leave this place to throw out garbage in another place. 

I was accused of having a messy office

 I ended up using a sick day and the interview went fantastic. I bought a suit, showed up sylin' and profiling and killed it. I got another call back the next week for a 2nd interview with a panel of 8 Directors. This was no joke and once again my personal day was denied. It was the Executive Directors move, he was running the department like an episode of the Sopranos. Because he felt “disrespected” he was coming at me this way. Again, this was not opinion, this was fact overheard by those closest to him. The moron didn’t think my friendships went that far. His racist ignorance thought me nothing more than a lazy hick working a job I didn't deserve. 

New Suit Day

 So , with me fully triggered I make my move and I take my personal day anyway which sent them on a frenzy. Like starving ego-driven piranha tasting blood in the water kinda crazy, they thought they had the  grounds they were looking for. Termination for insubordination that wouldn't allow me to collect.  I wasn’t done though, I proceeded to take the next 4 days off. They thought it was over, Ruben has finally left the building. That is until I returned with a Doctors note saying I was sick and needed 4 days off

They lost their damn minds I tell ya …I could feel it all the way cross town.

Not a bad view from my old job

                                               THE RETALIATION RETALIATION

 Once you provide a Doctor’s note you’re not supposed to retaliate against an employee, any idiot knows this but we’re not working with a full deck here.  I sent my documents directly to HR. Idiot Director still asked for my private Doctors note for his "records". Read a book dude, that's a damn HIPAA violation. Maybe if you spent less time trying to find false grounds to fire me and more time focused more on the how to run a department you wouldn't come off looking the way you did.

   I knew they wouldn't stop. Their next move was to demand I work 15 days straight. They couldn't just sit there and let me embarrass them the way I did, they needed to find grounds quick. Obviously working 15 days in a row isn't legal for an hourly employee.  Coupled with the fact that I never agreed to work weekends, we were in another fight in no time. I was a little more relaxed now because I honestly wanted to get laid off. I was giving them ammo to just fire that gun but it was clear the Executive Director wanted me on insubordination charged. Wasn't gonna happen.  One of the things overheard was that the Executive Director considered the department like a game of Chess and we were all pawns. Thing is , I’m like REALLY good at chess. I’m like that guy LittleFinger from Game of Thrones I always think two steps ahead and I was waiting for this reaction.

I'm always thinking...always planning ahead

The weekends came and the Director grinded his teeth every time I didn’t show up to work on the weekend. He had a foul mouth vulgar infused meeting that was clearly directed at me. It was made even clearer when at the end of the meeting he said “I wanna talk to Ruben after this” basically telling everyone yeah this was about me. As humiliating and insulting as this was, I didn't care.  I sat there, I let them talk not even making an effort to make eye contact. Why should eye? Eye contact is for people you respect, why would I respect people trying to take food out of my family table? Why should I respect people who at no point attempted to work with me, correct any situations they initiated? Like famed rapper once said, If these guys were on fire I wouldn’t even piss on them to put it out. At no point during my two years working with these managers did they ever contest my work ethic, skills or abilities. This was complete personal nonsense. 

I went back to Human Resources and this time was a little clearer and a little louder. I stated I have documentation and if these people didn’t back off I was going to sue. After that everything quieted down. Nobody spoke to me , the Director attempted to toss a humorous comment my direction in a meeting and I wasn’t having it. We’re not cool, we’re not cool at all bruh.  Eventually I got the call, my interviews panned out and I was being offered the job with a HUGE increase. Not only that but my new employer would be paying for my Bachelors Degree and would offer me more money upon completion. I immediately gave my two weeks…but with style.

Boss thinks of people's lives like a game of Chess

                                                GAME OVER MAN…GAME OVER

I had fantasies how I would quit. Maybe do it during the meeting where I would rip off my shirt and throw it on the table then do my own rendition of Micheal Flately’s Lord of the Dance right on it. Maybe I’d go to the Executive Directors office and drop a huge turd right on his desk. After some clearer thinking I decided to leave the only way I know how. Making myself look good while everyone else looks bad. I had 3 letters to send out. The first would be the resignation letter.  This letter would be very professionally detailing why I would no longer be working with the company and highlighting what the Executive Directors' role in this was.  I sent this letter to everyone including the head of HR and the Vice President of the school knowing this guy HATES this type of “disrespectful” attention.

A second letter was going to be sent only to the Vice President. He met up with me once to discuss things in the department and while nothing came from it , it was a good talk. I thanked him and his company for the good it did for me and my family over the years. I was grateful , I was appreciative and I felt he should know. It also helped contrast any idea they had of me (thanks to all the lies spread ) and help them see I wasn’t angry at everything, just their 3 stooges of a Director crew.

A third letter was sent to my co-workers because I didn’t wanna leave without saying goodbye. I am positive I made a few people cry with this letter. It was heartfelt, sincere and only for the people that mattered. All 3 letters got shot out at the same time. The moment leading up to it was one for the books. There I was, about to end it all with a touch of a button. All I had to do was press Send and it would be all over. All the stress, the drama, the toxicity, the bad blood, the dark intentions, the lies, the hypocrisy, the alienation, the illegal activities, the anxiety…all over. 

                                                           A NEW DAY

                                    I got the response I wanted. EVERYONE was talking about what I did and it didn’t take long before HR called me in and told me I could stay home (with pay) for the two weeks I put in to resign.  I left smiling knowing I left on a high, I left on MY terms, I left when I was ready. I wanted to leave with dignity but at the same time I knew I needed my closure. Throwing shade at these people without it being some emotional rant was the best way I could do it.  Some reading would say that ignoring the issue would have been best but those people didn’t get harassed for two years. Those people didn't deal with the medical issues I had. Quitting a job you've invested over a decade for to start somewhere new isn't easy. I had my medical, my vacation time (4 weeks) and it was very hard to give that up when I was the main provider to my household. I needed to leave properly and I needed justice. 

I was close to suing but In the end I didn’t have the energy even though I was told by a few lawyers that I had a case. If I was laid off I would have gone down that road but this new job is my road to recovery.It took a week to come down from it all and today was the first time I felt better. I have been spending my time and energy on the next stage of this all, learning new things in preparation for the role I will be taking. I have plans and there’s no room for failure because I have two people in my life who are the biggest motivational factors and I would do anything for them, even if that means taking hits from jacks for two years. 

So what did I learn from this all. I learned a few things, one being, I'm only as strong as I am because of the support I had. If I was alone in this matter I think I would have crashed and burned. If I didn't put my faith in people I would have slipped and allowed them to find grounds for termination. I was right to people and in turn they were right to me. We stuck together and I believe these people will always be around no matter where we are in life. 

I think the biggest lesson from it all is that we can't be scared of change. Change is inevitable and we have to focus on the qualities that make us good and wanted. My desire for change was strong enough for me to endure whatever was thrown at me(and it was a lot). I knew those closest to me wanted change and I stopped thinking about me. Every meeting I thought about everyone else except me. My feelings didn't matter only the goal.  In the end I was able to position my pawn to the end of the board. I didn't take the King out, but I was able to transform into something stronger, a force to be reckoned with. Good Game....

My motivation

I'm bringing Blogging Back !

                    YEAH!  Where have I been? Why have I not kept up with my fascinating blog that detailed my day to day adventures?  Well I have a good solid reason, I’ve been lazy. Not lazy in the way someone would fail to properly dry his hands before opening  a public bathroom door ensuring that whoever touches that wet handle Is going to pause and wonder what exactly did they just touch. No, this is a good lazy, a healthy lazy.

           Many know what my struggle has been for some time. Working the night shift! The shift was supposed to be a temporary arrangement and it ended up being a far longer tour than originally anticipated.  Politics played a roll, so did corruption and in the end there was only one person who was going to get me out of the mess I was in, ME.  I wasn’t happy, I was downright miserable. The night shift was literally killing me. Insomnia , high blood pressure  and weight gain were all consequences to this shift and unlike Taylor Swift, I couldn’t shake it off.  My body had no idea when to have energy and as much as I tried my body would not cooperate. I was useless and any deviation to my routine would either cause me to crash or turn me into some kind of repugnant arrogant argumentative monster and that’s just not the person I like to be.
     I was a walking zombie, I was Edward Norton in Fight Club, walking through life in slow motion while everything zipped by me.  I had to bounce back. I had to put aside any little hobbies I had, any ideas that these hobbies would pay off and I had to get stuff done in the real world. I made the decision to finish school faster by enrolling full time and I took up my Boss’s offer to fetch a license they needed that would ensure I get my position changed. Sure I could have done things easier, maybe just focused on the license but I knew myself and in order for me to keep steam rolling through this rut I needed a ton of coal dumped on me.
    And I did it ! I not only passed all my classes with A’s but I also passed the city test and the onsite test with a 92. The license was mine ,Bing bong Bang schedule changed. I got promoted in the process and understand  It’s not the title that I’m proud of , I don’t go on LinkedIn using a thesaurus to describe myself, no, it’s about positioning myself for future growth in my personal life. My family needed me around on the weekends and now I can plan to do things like a family. I hated that I couldn’t and I wasn’t going to sit there crying about it.

       Now it’s about recovery. With having weekends off I’m able to do all the things I wasn’t able to, stuff you day walkers sometimes take for granted like shopping in Ikea , a stroll through the farmers market, hang out at the dog park without a dog while trying not to look creepy. I’m also able to curb my antisocial attitude and spend time with people I haven’t been able to.  That’s important to me, I’ve cut off some people in my life that were very toxic (or just annoying) . Surrounding myself with positive outgoing people is exactly what I need.
 

I haven't seen my Aunt and cousins in ages ! 

    So what’s in store for future blogs?  I’ll tell you ! Fascinating stories involving action, drama, suspense, romance…. And even a little comedy. Writing is therapeutic for me and I like sharing what I can when I can. No more hiding in the shadows , It’s time to rise from the ashes and let out a thunderous roar while pounding my furry chest while yelling , “ I’m BACK!”…cuz that’s just what I did …and now people are looking at me .

- Ruben Camacho

Day 2 : Juicing

 

   
      It was a much better day today but not without its challenges. I got back from work and I wasn't as ravenous as I usually am at this time of day. So I made smoothies in the morning for my family and then we all hit the park nice and early. Keeping my mind busy outside of the house worked wonders for curbing any hunger cravings. We played and watched as our beautiful son learned to ride his scooter or played some basketball with his classmate. I sat there with Dez and just took in the Sun and the occasional cool breeze. I was at peace and I felt...refreshed.

   Lunch was when I decided to make my first official green juice. The Veggies were washed, the juicer cleaned and we were ready. I was shocked with how much juice was coming out of each fruit and veggie. I checked my sugar levels before I drank the green stuff and I was at a steady 140. I haven't been able to fast yet because of my work schedule and I'm managing only 3-4 hours of sleep at a time whenever I can so 140 is pretty good considering. 

 Note to anybody starting to juice: Don't drink it warm! ! Warm green juice was horrible. Here is what you do, throw some ice in there and drink it somewhere sunny. Just kick back and let the sun hit you and that is probably the best way to enjoy this experience. I sat there by the window really feeling refreshed and I'm going to use that word a few more times because its such a fun word. Here is the best part, all the symptoms I had felt the day before were gone. I didn't feel sick, I didn't have a headache and best of all I didn't feel hot and cold. In FACT..the most interesting part of this whole experience is how cold I was feeling the whole day. I am the one who is always running hot, the yeti, the one with the window open on a winter day and today I was freezing and it was a good 70 degrees in the apartment.

I read online this is something that's common when juicing. Something about your body not being the furnace because you're changing your digestive system. Whatever, I'm just happy to be feeling something.(I'll spare the bowel movement details) These two days have been a tough challenge and I have to keep reminding myself that its only BEEN two days and I have to take this day by day. Even if I don't immediately see results knowing my digestion isn't making heat for me is giving me a warm feeling. I did feel weak going to work that night but I blame that on the lack of sleep and not on the juice. Once at work I drank the rest of the juice  and even combined some good ol weight lifting and I once again was surprised to see how much energy I had considering no sleep and no food.

    I'm still not removing solid food from the diet here, I'm planning to have breakfast with Dez , I need those moments.Breakfast time with her stabilizes me mentally and I need that about as much as I need this new diet. But I am starting to feel confident that maybe soon, the juices will be enough to keep me full.

 

  So here is my green juice recipe.

Kale
Celery
Apples
Carrot
Spinach
Ginger
Leafy Greens
Lemon

            I apologize if my recipe doesn't follow an exact formula I'm not that organized but here are the details I do have. I ended up buying $11 dollars worth of veggies and I got about 2 quarts worth of green juice. I feel like that's a pretty decent value. Invaluable health benefit aside I do need to budget this diet and I was pleased to see that amount of juice.  Now for the most important question, how did it taste? Well, It tasted like someone made fun of me, took my lunch money and then threw me into a garden. I then comically popped my head up and it was all full of dirt and leaves. Yeah that's how I felt, that being said it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I was afraid the drink was going to make me gag. That I would have this putrid rancid vile drink in my hands and putting it down was going to be something out of Fear Factor. I think the key ingredient here that softened the whole flavor was the lemon. The biggest flavor that stood out was the celery. So here's how my day went.

What it's all for.