I am the Ruiner of Highs!

 

       So the other day I'm headed to my parents house and I have my family with me. We miss the Q60 bus right as we get to the corner and I knew another bus wasn't coming for 30 minutes so to kill some time I decided to take them to the McDonalds that's a mere few feet away. Jason and Dez were hungry so it seemed like a good idea at the time. Once inside I tell them to sit down while I order "The Usual". The order goes smoothly and its taken by this sweet girl who is obviously new. She nervously repeats everything I say ensuring she makes no mistakes and I respond patiently. I stand to the side waiting for the food when it happens.

      An older man comes in and pops out two sausage egg and cheese muffins. I think he had them in his pants because they came out of nowhere, it was like a magic act! So he has these muffins and he starts telling the cashier helping me  that she sold him the muffins and they have sausage and he said NO sausage. Now, it should be noted that its about 1:30pm and Mcdonalds stops selling breakfast at around 10:30 or so, maybe 11 I'm not sure. Which tells me either he is an INCREDIBLY slow eater or he really, really hates sausages and had to say something about it.

   The girl was professional, but the man continued to complain. Her manager quickly stepped in and pretended to check his order (he had no receipt) while telling her she needed to be more careful when taking orders. Now there was NO proof she messed up, this was the classic "the customer is always right" garbage that I never believed in. It could have been the cook that messed up, could have been a mistake on who packaged it , it could have been a number of things. But everything was falling on this poor girl who was giving no attitude and looked like she wanted to crawl under a rock.

    The manager offered him his money back, he of course said yes, but then continued to harass her. Saying how WRONG she was for what she did. This was already for a few minutes, him repeating the same thing over and over and even another co - worker stepped in and asked him what did he want. It didn't look like he just wanted her fired, it looked like he would have had her stoned for her insolence if he could. So...I lost it.

   I told him to take his money and leave. Now mind you, if this would have been some hooligan I would have simply just called the cops but this was just an angry bitter  man wanting to make a small issue a big one and I am so..so sick of that. So I tell him to leave and now he turns his attention to me. He starts complaining and I stop him and ask him if he's ever made a mistake. "Have you ever made a mistake? how would YOU like to be treated if you made a mistake at your job" apparently this question was too deep, there was a pause and you can hear the limited processing power in his tiny brain before it fizzled and popped back into ignorance.

    So an older guy comes my way, starts taking my side but gets all "Merica!" about it and i'm like whoa whoa whoa, I'm not going there, I just want the guy to leave the girl alone I don't want to get all Afghanistan up in here , so we both tell him to leave McDonalds but he comes toward me as I walked away. I took that as aggression so I quickly stopped and unleashed a mighty shout. No exaggeration , this yell literally shook the entire restaurant. The guys hair blew back and he froze in this spot like a Mortal Kombat move.

                       

no exaggeration, this is what he looked like when I yelled.

    He finally stopped. He could NOT believe what just happened. I'm sure he had fantasized about how he would go into McDonalds and shame this woman for her insolence. I totally ruined that.I ruined that high he was seeking, that twisted sense of Justice people like him try to seek when they do what he did to other people in their jobs. It drives me crazy how people like that look to bully those at their jobs, knowing they are powerless to respond. Not Today! for I am the Ruiner of Highs!I ruin highs well.

    He paced back and forth outside shaking his head like he couldn't BELIEVE that this just happened! I calmed down, told the manager and the girl they do good work and that the guy was crazy and we finished our terrible food. I was reminded how much I hate McDonalds food but I think now that I'm juicing I hated it even more. It took work to finish that burger and It made me think of that documentary Super Size Me. My stomach churned after ...Next time we miss the bus, I'll just wait for the next one.

The End.

Day 5: That which shall not be spoken of needs to be spoken of.

     I'm a regular kinda guy. I make my deposits, drop the kid at school and I make all my decisions like any King of his Castle, while sitting on his throne. Yes, these are all euphemisms for bowel movements. A topic I've been avoiding since I started juicing but suuuuuch an important topic that I knew I'd have to tackle it at some point. So here it is,

   I never had a problem in this department so I didn't expect to see/feel much of a difference when the juicing kicked in. I was warned that the drinks will make me gassy, they have not. I was warned that the drinks would give me cramps,they have not. The first two days I noticed more activity, more visits to the bathroom but nothing explosive. I was also amazed at some of the lengths I was greeted with. Impressive two flushers! Funny story, me and a few friends of mine used to take pictures of our "Events" and text each other with our impressive results, always trying to one-up the next guy(guys will be guys!).  I tell ya there's nothing like sending your best bud a pic of something that could double as a child birth while he's in a meeting at work. Classic.

So, back to what I was saying,  I didn't have any emergencies as others have experienced when juicing. I've heard stories of people having sudden emergencies and those people must be doing something wrong. They must be using too many different recipes or not letting their body adjust properly or forcing their body to take more liquid than its prepared for. As much as the sun loving hippies would suggest the body isn't designed for an all liquid diet.

   So take it easy with the juicing. Do what I did and test your recipe first. Don't be a dummy and go ," man this drink makes me gassy! I think i'll drink two more glasses!" change it up, find the veggie that's doing a number on you and just remove it from your recipe. This is why I've taken it slow with juicing before I dive into a full 10 day challenge. I can't be having no emergencies while in a crowded train in Manhattan. I'll be on the news with the title "Man ruins commute for hundreds!". So just take it slow and do it right.

   Day 5 I've taken a step back on the juicing for two reasons.One reason was to get some calories in me. I didn't want to crash, I wanted to take this slow from the beginning and do this right because I want this to a part of my lifestyle not just something to get attention. The second reason was because I kind of messed up. I didn't keep up with the shopping. I didn't have healthy food in the house and I didn't have veggies to replace the juice. So when hunger pangs kicked in I had to go out and make some choices and I think I've been clear on how difficult it is to make good choices outside when you're surrounded by great food like I am. I mean, right on my corner I have a pizzeria that makes the BEST pizza I have ever eaten EVER. Their sauce is one that I would gladly bathe in, I mean it, I would drop my trowsers and swim in all that glorious sauce like Scrooge McDuck in his money bin back stroking and all. It's THAT good. When hungry, it's easy to cave in, you convince yourself "oh one slice won't hurt" and then next thing you know you're eating your son's slice as well (he's a slow eater so if anything I'm teaching him a life lesson)

Get BEHIND ME Pizza! 

      I need to get on point with the shopping and create a better schedule so I have enough veggies that I can make the juice but not SO much that the veggies will go bad. I also can't make so MUCH juice because those jars only stay good for about 2 days then the juices loses their nutrients. Juice oxidizes the moment it comes out so if you jar it up it's only going to be good for about 24 - 48 hours but honestly, after tasting the green juice after two days in the fridge I'll never drink one passed 24 hours again. Fresh juice just tastes appropriate.

         One final thing I've noticed, even though I've eaten food and stopped juicing as much for a day, my digestion is in overdrive and i'm still using the bathroom about 3 times a day. All that juice has kind of coated my stomach and things are just flying right on through. I better watch out, any faster and someone might get hurt.

Day 4: Steady as she goes !

   I almost fell off the wagon again last night!  To briefly explain, I work the night shift which is 12:00 am to 8:00 am. This shift does something terrible to your metabolism. You're hungry when you should be sleeping and maintaining a stable diet/weight has been extremely difficult because of this.

Every Weds (which is my Friday since I work Sat - Weds) I used to treat myself to a Subway Sub that's located about a block away and open 24 hours. This was my spot man, You know you have a problem when you go in and everyone knows your name. I haven't been there in weeks and I've been avoiding the place to keep from temptation but last night I got a call to one of the buildings I work in and to get there I have to pass...The Subway!

Oh Subway, how I loathe you and love you at the same time. You're disgusting...yet fresh. You're expensive, yet affordable. You are an enigma my friend and I ..just...can't! Not anymore. I walked passed the Subway,The owner looking at me like if I was cheating on him. My stomach growled loudly. I stopped , turned around and extended my hand in a final farewell. 


   Ok, onward to some updates. I finally got info on the Juicer I use. It's the Breville Ikon Juice Fountain and here's what it looks like.

 

It's a BEAST

      You can find it here.  This juicer was a gift from my parents and it's definitely a tad pricey if you're looking to get into juicing but unsure if it's something you want to keep doing in the long run. I had a juicer once that I had to get rid of. We had a horrible roach infestation thanks to our lovely reincarnation believing neighbors and the roaches had made the juicer their club med. After a massacre (A Massacre I tell ya!) we were roach free and ready for another juicer.

      The Breville has digital settings for your vegetable or fruit choices. I think I've stated this before but the amount of juice I got from a relatively small grocery shopping was pretty darn impressive. Also, the juice is almost all pulp free which has made drinking it down a lot easier for me. I dunno about you guys but I can't drink down thick pulpy stuff...

  This Juicer has been my foundation. I have worked my diet around this bad boy and that's what I needed because as I have discovered, juicing is easy. I have successfully replaced two of my meals with juicing which means (to me) I am currently living well under a 2500 calorie diet.  Again i'm horrible with details but I promise as I move forward with this lifestyle change I will get the exact numbers and how many calories I'm taking in a day.

    But the point is, I feel it. I feel lighter and I feel more focused . I'm going to go to the grocery store where I have begun to establish my name in a new place. I will video log the veggies I buy and how much it all costs and detail the recipe we have been using. Stay tuned.

Day 3 Juicing: Some surprising results.

Can you guess what this is? If you said a belt then pat yourself on the back because you are a GENIUS! I took this picture in the morning because I noticed something when I was at work. My jeans kept falling down. I was looking like one of them hop hip kids with their Nike's and loud music. Actually with my work clothes I looked more like the Hobo that asks for change around my neighborhood.

This is no exaggeration, but I started this Juicing 3 days ago and my belt buckle would fit at around the second mark. I now need to tighten this belt at five holes/sizes down. I suppose I should be a little more detailed when it comes to these results. I know it helps some people to see the numbers but I was never much of a numbers person so saying I dropped from this size to this size in this amount of time under these conditions using these materials  while these stars were aligned was something I didn't really want to focus on because frankly... it's exhausting. I'll have Dez take official measurements today.

  I finally regulated my sleep pattern and I finally feel great this morning. No headache and most importantly no ravenous cravings. At this time I'm usually hungry for a bagel from this delicious bagel hole across the street from my job. I'm not even sweating it now. Sipping on the juice throughout the night has kept my hunger pains in check better than I thought it would. I really thought they would find me at work curled in a fetal position with my stomach growling loudly yelling out random foods. Nope, I am in control of this ship.

    When I get home I'll have enough energy to implement some of the cardio I do. I have the X-box 360 kinnect and I recently purchased Your Shape Fitness. It's a great program that tracks your body movements and provides some really good workouts. I've seen a bunch of work out programs on and off the Xbox and most require you to just jump in place as fast as you can like an idiot (I'm looking at you Shaun t!) but this game/program provides everything from Yoga to Zumba. I especially like the Shadow Boxing part. I'll usually drop the music and turn up the great Rocky soundtrack and pretend up punching slabs of meat in a freezer...but in my underwear.

Probably the best workout game ever for a console.

      I will be implementing more green juice today with two more protein shakes. My arms are swollen from the weight lifting and my chest burns from the push-ups. But I don't feel sluggish and I feel like I can handle another workout easily. I like this feeling.

Day 1 Juicing

I'm JUICING!

     I finally made the decision to Juice. My parents whom had successfully been maintaining a vegetarian diet for over a year now have been trying to convince me to embark on this challenge. Inspired by the documentary Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead released in 2010. The film tells the story of a man on the brink of death who decided to make drastic dietary changes in an effort to save his life. His story closely mirrors my own and while I didn't require the extreme changes he made I did feel like I needed to take a more proactive measure to avoid what could possibly be my very own future.

     So I researched how effective Juicing would be for Type II Diabetics. No surprise there was a slew of poor information out there, especially from those claiming to be health blogs but are ran by idiots that are so dangerously irresponsible that it could border on criminal negligence. For example, when one puts on the blog that this recipe is "good for diabetics" and the nutritional facts show a drink that contains 48g of sugar for one serving YOU deserve a slap in the face. I'm not using hyperbole, you literally require five fingers across and maybe five on the return for emphasis .

  I've decided to mix the juicing with the healthy protein smoothie recipe that I once incorporated into my diet before. It was an expensive recipe requiring a good amount of protein powder and a very difficult to find unsweetened Almond Milk but its filling and delicious and most importantly already proven to not spike my levels . That's something I was weary about going into this juicing since level spiking is the one thing that makes me a raging moody monster and I wanted to avoid that side of me as much as possible.So until I can see that the juicing recipes I have chosen are good for me I'll be mostly making the smoothies and slowly adding more and more green drinks.

My reliable and delicious Protein Shake

     So for 10 hours I had nothing but liquids. I got home from work and made myself another protein shake with Bananas and two Strawberries.   By 10:30am I was lying in bed shaking like Ewan McGregor in Trainspotting when he was locked in a room trying to get off Heroin. I couldn't sleep, couldn't focus. I kept smelling food all around me. I swear for a while I had acquired DareDevil like honed senses and I was smelling things from blocks away.  I already drank down a smoothie so I couldn't drink another to curb the hunger and I couldn't stomach more water or juice. Mentally I was breaking down and I knew I was in trouble when I wanted to throw up. I ended up getting a huge migraine. The craziest part was when I was hot and cold at the same time.I had become a Katy Perry song !!!  I couldn't take it and I fell off the wagon. I ate the fastest thing I could make, a cheese sandwich. I barely got the plastic off the sliced cheese before I scarfed it all down like I was a prisoner in solitary confinement who hadn't eaten in days.

While I should have had a healthier option in front of me ready for just a situation, I was proud that I didn't run to some fast food joint and over order something to satisfy my ravenous cravings. I paused and took a moment for everything to settle. With no exaggeration the headache went away within minutes and I was calmer.  I had checked my levels and I was 140 so it wasn't my blood sugar, this was something else.

     I've taken a step back to adjust to this challenge. Tomorrow I'm going to approach it slightly differently now knowing how my body is responding. I will have Dez with me all day to keep my mind busy which is what most of this challenge is about. It's all mental and it's extremely difficult to keep focused when one has as much down time as I do. These blogs are helping me keep mentally busy, so...Onward !